Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Wee Dog and Doctors

     Well Kiddies, last night was a major scare.  DH and Mom had already turned in for the night.  All the CFC (Chick Flick Club) were watching TV with the wee lil guy there too.  He started to choke, sort of like hack and couldn't catch a breath.  Just continued to expel air but couldn't get any in.  I picked him up and he went limp, lost his bowels, his eye's met mine and I thought, "that's the last time I will see him".  I knew he was dead.  I threw my head up and screamed really loudly NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! so that I woke the house, unintended as I had only one concern.  He came BACK!  Where ever he went to he came back!  DH came flying down the hall and tried to help but didn't know what to do any more then I did.  It took about 30 minutes for the wee babe to get his wind back and stop heaving like a steam engine.  I believe he had a massive coronary as his heart was playing the drums instead of being the strong and steady beat we had become accustomed to.  It was just making weird 2 beat, 3 beat, no beat KWIM? Weird.  I don't know what really happened and don't really care.  All I care about is that he came back for me.  I just need a few more weeks.  That's another story I will have to share.  Pets!  Man it was like my own heart was being wrenched out of my body! This photo was taken about one hour before everything went down.  Aren't they adorable?!!!

     The other story is the doctors last night.  We had to change doctors due to our primary doc moving away. We found a great, caring primary who pushes me out of my comfort zone but in a loving way.  She sent me to a specialist who...

Wait for it...

He thinks he can help me!!!!!!  Did you get that?  He will not guarantee anything but he knew exactly what was wrong with me due to my list of ailments and description of the pain!  He's getting the MRI to see what the findings were but said it's the facets.  These are this round thing that stands vertical to the disks in the spine. He said they are paper thin and rubbing against the nerve which is making the cramping in the spine which is causing me to drop instead of walk.  He wants to inject cortisone into the joints that have this thinning facet. This will provide the cushion needed to keep the disks apart and show if this is indeed the problem. Then he wants to see me in 3 weeks,  at which time he will determine if I am a candidate for surgery to cauterize the nerves involved.  I believe this is something I was looking into a long time ago... a laser surgery technique that looked promising but wasn't available to me with the insurance we had.  It was only done down in Beverly Hills and Century City (really rich areas of LA).
     Here's the upshot... if this works, I may be able to walk again!  AND DH remembered that our chiropractor, whom we have know forever and trust implicitly, when he saw the MRI shots he said facets.  So DH perked right up and went yes! that's it!
     I can't even THINK about this.  I mean I start to go down that road that leads to recovery and just freak!  I accepted all of this since no one could figure out what was wrong with me I just accepted it all.  I can hardly even think of it at all!  I mean, I could cook and clean again.  Granted I will still have all my other ailments but I would be able to move better and more.  I would still be weak as a new born babe but I could strengthen myself by moving more each day.  Things would go back the way they were.  I could do the shopping and go to church again!  So many things that I have been deprived of for all these many (too many) long years!  Simple things like walking hand in hand with my beloved!  Things people take for granted that haven't done in all these years.
     Here's the rub,,, if this was such a no brainer, WHY didn't someone find it earlier?  See that's where I put the brakes on AND we have had doctors like this in the past who think and think more then say, "perhaps you have this rare XYZ?"  "Perhaps",,, or "we will work through this and find out why."  I mean I have heard it all and no one has been able to help me.  The Primary wanted to subject me to PT when I knew that wouldn't help.  It would only hurt me more, DH would loose work hours and money and all for naught, cause if you don't find out what is causing the problem you are only putting a band aid onto it by doing the PT.  Until you know what you are facing, know what the problem is, only then will you be able to fix it.
     We have so many fires on currently.  

  • Wee boy dying.
  • There was this thing here I couldn't tell you about that was just MASSIVE that had me in it's grip for about 4 weeks of agony, it's over but not forgotten.  I seem to be suffering from shell shock.
  • We may loose our home due to finances.
  • Now my back? surgery?
  • Sending the Pixies away for a week - a lot more to it then I have shared there.
  • This other thing that I can't share which has the Pixies a flutter wondering what's amiss.  WOW that will all float away if I get better!
Ok so you can see, even if I didn't share, they are all these huge, life altering things.  There's SO BLOODY MANY of them though.  One at a time, I can take.  All of the above, not so much.  I find myself in tears at odd times, find myself zoning out much more frequently dwelling on one or another.  Find myself going into panic attack a LOT with heart issues to boot.  The Nitro is getting a work out. I feel like I'm walking on the razors edge, one mis step and I fall only to slice my head off.
     Gee, I never share all of this with you guys.  I like to dwell on the good stuff and never share any of the bad.  Here you are getting an ear FULL of bad and I may never do this again.  So get your fill of it as this is a rare moment indeed.  Sigh.  I just HAD to tell you about the wee guy and the doctor though, I HAD to let you know that I'm under the gun over here and I'm FREAKING big time.  See, the Tour, yes I'm on hiatus but not JUST for the Tour.  It's this whole thing that has me wanting to back off.

     The good.... ok so I had this thought.  An entire series of yarns just for Twist alone, based on the waters of the world.  We are starting today with the Caribbean and the Mediterranean as I seem to go there all the time and these are some of my all time favorite waters out there.  
We aren't held to only the TOP of the waters as there's much of interest UNDER the waters as well!  
Not to mention sun sets over these waters. I found some great inspiration photos for this and will be working with a great many bases today.  
I'm really looking forward to dye day today!  Matter of fact, I can't wait!!!  I'm going to strap on my back brace and get set up at the table for once.  Normally I'm over the kettle... oh dear,,, I can only kettle some of these.  Perhaps the table will not work.  Hum,,, might have to rethink that but for now, I'm DYEING! to DYE!  
     HAHA ok had to leave you with a silly.  Have a great day!

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