Friday, January 4, 2013

Winter Camp

     WOW I just kissed my almost adult children and sent them off to Winter Camp.

Speaker: Bobby Blakey
Topic: “Give your life away”
     One of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life.  Granted it's time, they are 17 and almost 16 but still!  They are my constant companions, they feed me and take care of me.  I can still shower but need help after I get out and so my DD will comb out my hair when my arms are too heavy to work the comb.  Enduring excruciating pain has NOTHING on sending those children out the door and not seeing them until late Sunday night.  Trusting in the Lord that He will protect them from harm and danger.  It's just flat out painful. I didn't want to tell them that or let them see me cry so I kept it together.  Falling apart will commence shortly.
     Granted I scheduled a great deal of work.  I have the Princess Bride KAL kit thingy to write up and figure out exactly what the kits will contain and look like.  I have a bunch of TWIST photos to shoot, load and play with.  Then there's the Winter KAL and the Spring Fae Festival which were dyed along with all this other stuff so I have plenty to keep me company.  
     BUT... anyone who's a parent will understand what I'm going through.  This is my boys first time away overnight and my girls third time out.  They have 2 nights and three days away.  This is the first time they have been away without my personally knowing all the people whom they will be with.  We don't do this sort of thing, camps.  Never have, we have always kept them close to protect them but it's time for me to begin letting go... this process is really hard on me.  Not only do they take care of me but they are my best buds and we really get along well.  I wonder if I will laugh at all while they are gone or if I will just cry for the entire weekend.  Or sleep, there's always that option as I haven't been sleeping well for the last few nights.  I toss and turn for about 2 hours before sleep finally takes me.
     ENOUGH!  TWIST needs me as does a few skeins of Raven with beads and SM's that I made special for a friend.  Two days worth of e-mails and some sample PB kits for the TKers are needing to be packed up as well.  
     Sigh.  Parenting is hard work.  No, parenting my teens is easy, a joy and I have NEVER understood the whole "teen angst" thing as we don't have it here.  We have had a few hormonal imbalances but they don't last long and they are always so chastened by the Lord and themselves that the apologies fly freely afterwards.  I have long said that we are raising adults, not children and so have treated them as such.  But this,,, this letting go... this is TERRIBLE and don't let anyone fool you who says it's not, or that they can't wait for them to fly the nest.  It's just awful!  Unless, through a nice courtship they move in next door and raise a slew of children that I can dote on, that would be worth it.  I have long had this feeling that I don't have much longer with my youngest, she's lovely-beautiful really, a great cook, funny, charming, intelligent and my best friend.  I have this terrible premonition that she's not here for much longer and that a great many tears will fall when she departs... perhaps with my heart.



     Just as these fairies are hard at work so must I be.  
Do I have any distraction out there? Anyone who's available do let me know and in what venue.  Gone through this?  Write me.

1 comment:

  1. The first time my oldest one went to camp for 3 weeks I didn't think I could survive the worry and stress. I was kept busy with 1 yr. old twins to care for but was much relieved when she came home safe and sound. By the time the twins went away to camp years later I was less stressed, feeling that they would have each other if there was a problem. Sending them off to college was way harder than camp. But I survived that too. I also have a disability from a stroke and needed my kids to help me at times. I've learned acommadations deal with things. Good luck and smile.